Some Times You Just Have to Make a Decision...

Its been an while since I've made a post, I guess you can say I was experiencing Life so that I can make a post...lol.  As I opened up my blog, the first thing I read was the description:

“What is my purpose in life? What is my passion? Where do I go from here? Sometimes, the best way to find a purpose in life is to go out there and take action, even if we don’t know what we are doing! This is my attempt at just that."

I created this blog 4 years ago and the interesting thing is that I just re-asked myself those very same questions about a week ago.  This time; however, they led me to deeper questions.

I have been a dancer/choreographer/instructor for about 14 years now and Life has taken me to a point at which those questions needed to be revisited.  I asked myself, "is dance really my passion?" or "is it something that I just happened to be good at?

That led me to ask, "what does it mean to be passionate about something?"  To me, its that thing that you put all things aside for.  Its that nothing else matters at that moment kind of thing.  Its that thing you are always talking about and its on your mind, like a lot.  Its that thing that makes everything worth it.  If that's the case, then I can say that dance was a passion for me at one point, but not today.

So then, can your passion change?  It can if it came from your EGO, if it came to fill some voids within you.  Since it did, your EGO identified with it and attached itself to it.  But what happens when you begin the journey of transcending EGO?  When you begin to come into your true self and you realize that you never had voids, that they were in your mind, illusions of the EGO.  Little by little, you begin to loose interest in those hobbies and things your were into; maybe even your passion.  So then was it really your passion?  This brings me back to the first question, was dance really my passion or something that I just happened to be good at, something I identified with and attached myself to?

Since I happened to be good at it, dance led me to become a dance instructor, a teacher.  Teaching and helping others accomplish their goal of dance has been something I've been very passionate about and  Love; but wait, I thought dancing and performing was my passion.  Which brings me to another question, "can you have multiple passions?"  (Not sure how to approach that one, maybe one of you can shed some light).  Regardless, teaching became a huge part of my life and I took great pride and care on developing that craft.

For most of my adult life I have worked a regular 9-5 during the day and worked on my passion of dance and teaching dance at night so that I can make ends meet.  Fast forward to today and I find myself wanting a break from all of that, from working so hard and so many hours - its almost like living a double life.  Well, ask and you shall receive, opportunity knocked and my break came - found a place to live where my bills will add up to a fraction of what I've been paying all this time.  This led me to ask, "was I teaching dance out of necessity?"  Now that my bills are lower, do I need to teach dance?  One thing was clear, I love teaching and I'm definitely passionate about it; so then, does it matter what it is that I'm teaching?

4 years ago I set out to find my purpose and my passion; well, when you set your intentions clearly life has a way of giving you the necessary experiences to make it happen.  A year after I started this blog, I found myself in the most painful experience I had yet been in.  It so happen to be the kind of pain I needed to break me down to point of change, and it was in the winds of change that I started to find my true direction.  As a result of that experience, I began the journey to find my true self and to look within myself for the answers.  Along my journey of self discovery and self realization, people began to reach out to me for advise on certain aspects of life.  That's when I began to notice that I was getting a deeper level of fulfillment from helping someone than anything else I had done up to that point in my life.  That's when I became a life/spiritual coach, and let me tell you, even dance got put in the back burner when I was helping someone or teaching them life skills on how to overcome an obstacle.  So, if coaching/helping someone superseded dance - "my passion"  and I was getting a deeper level of fulfillment from it, then was coaching my passion?

So, that's were I I'm - I just made a decision - a decision to explore and see who I am with out dance being a priority in my life.  A decision to put myself in charge of my life and what I want to do with it.  It was a decision that I've been going back and forth with, why, because I was scared to make the decision.  Besides, how am I really going to know for sure one way or the other, if I don't allow myself to experience the other side.  So, if you can relate to any of this, only thing I can say is, don't be afraid to ask the hard questions and don't be afraid to explore all the possibilities available to you.  Truth is, like my tattoo on my left forearm says - "Life is an Experiment", so experiment away my friends.

Live.Love.Life

What is Real?

What is real?  How do you define real?  If you are talking about what you can feel, smell, taste, see and hear, then real  is simply electrical signals interpreted by your brain.  This is one of my favorite scenes in the movie the Matrix.  It is said that the mind is a powerful thing, it is!  Spiritual teachers and quantum physicists all over have found that the world you live in, as YOU experience it, only exists in your mind.  So if its true in your mind, then its true and real for you.  I once heard a Indian Guru say that the only place you experience life is within yourself.  You see him, where?  In your mind.  You hear him, where?  In your mind.  Nothing that you have ever or ever will experience happens outside of you. He said we know nothing of the world outside of our mind.  So, what its reality?  

Recently I decided to watch, for a second time, the show Lost.  The first time I saw it I had a different mindset, and it reached me, but limited to what I was willing and capable of understanding back then.  Now, given the way I think, I wanted to see how it would reach me and if I could gain any new understanding from it.  I did! If you are not familiar with the show I urge you to give it a chance.  If you haven't, I will not spoil it for you, I am not here to talk about the show, simply about the perspective I gained from it.  Are you familiar with soul pacts and/or soul groups?  They are agreements we make with an individual or a group of individuals before we come to earth and be born.  The agreements we make are just so that we can help each other have the experiences and learn the lessons we are meant to, i.e., soul mates, spouses, children, family, close friends, etc.  Based on my study of the Buddhist philosophy and what I've been able to understand from Quantum Physics, I have come to realize that Death is just a concept.  Why?  Because what I AM; a divine spiritual being having a temporary human existence, was never born, therefore it could never die.  It has always existed and chooses to be born to have different experiences to gain awareness of itself.  Death is simply the transition of leaving the body to rest to perhaps another reality of existence or to whatever comes next.  

So what comes next? Heaven? Hell? Purgatory? Reincarnation? I really don't know.  I suppose no one really knows until it happens.  What I do know for sure, is that I don't know.  If I don't know, then what do I know; and what do I do with what I know?  If what is real its all happening within my mind, then Heaven, Hell, Purgatory, Reincarnation, etc are all realities that we can only experience within our mind.  That after we transition, we simply create them within our mind, based on our perception of our last reality - lets call that "Life".  They say Life is what you make it, you will either have a "positive" experience or a "negative" experience. If you see Life as obstacles and problems, then that's what you will experience.  If you see Life as opportunities, then that's what you will have. If you flow with Life, it flows with you.  Its is all on your perception, your mindset.  If at any point you are not happy with the experience you are having, you can change your mind.  If I had a positive life experience at the time I transition from my current reality, chances are that I will experience a Heaven type reality.  If I had a negative life experience, then I'll experience a Hell like reality.  Some say Heaven and Hell are a place here on Earth, that they are just mindsets, your perception of  reality.  So if Death is a concept, couldn't Life be a concept as well.  

Life is a constant learning experience, which every day provides us with opportunities to learn more, and there are no mistakes, only lessons.  And these lessons are specific to you, and learning them is the key to discovering and fulfilling the meaning and relevance of your own life.  That your development towards wisdom is a process of experimentation, trial and error, and the ones we come to life with, either as a soul pact or a soul group, help us through and are essential to that process.  Here is what I propose, based on the premise that reality is only experienced within your mind, that Life/Heaven/Hell/Purgatory/Reincarnation/etc are all realities we create in our mind, then, if the world you live in, as YOU experience it, only exists in your mind.  That if its true in your mind then its true and real for you, then ALL is REAL.  If its all for learning lessons and resolving issues that we have with ourselves and others, and they say purgatory is a place for those that have not resolved certain things in life and need a little more time to work through things; and for those who are there that's REAL for them, then the here is the thing: you don't really know at which point of your journey you are currently on.  In the movie What Dreams May Come, they say that if you are aware you exist, then you do.  They also say, that only thought is real, physical is the illusion - again all within your mind.  In that movie, Heaven or Hell was a choice they each created within their mind and its experienced differently by each person - all was possible and there are no rules.  In that reality, "afterlife", they were able to resolve all the issues they hadn't in "life", as a family, and they were able to experience a LOVE like never before.  They finally found peace and happiness.  They were so at peace that they chose to reincarnate and have more experiences and learn more from each other.  That "afterlife" reality was very REAL to them. Going back to the point that we really don't know what happens; what is real and what is not, and since we don't know, then we don't know at what point we are in this never ending journey.  Are you in Life, Heaven, Hell, Purgatory ????? Then it only makes sense that we make the best of it Now, wherever Now is for you.  That in this NOW, you lead with love, that you forgive, that you let go, that you are kind and compassionate, that you resolve any issues that may be holding you back from finding peace and happiness.  

Keep this in mind, the most important time of your life, is the time you spend with the ones you love. You need them and they need you, to move on.  Realize that it is only through love that we come to remember who we are.  That it is only through love that we can forgive and let go. Love is all there is.  Love is your path to peace and happiness.  They only time is NOW, don't waste it.

Thank you, I Love you.  You are important to me.

Your reality, Your Life!

You say you want to change, you want to let go and find peace because your life its a "nightmare".  Well, what if that nightmare is all you have known?  How do you let go of it knowing that the very idea of it might mean loosing yourself.

If I loose myself, then who am I?

What do I have if I don't have that anymore?

What will I do if I am not doing that or being that anymore? 

You would be what you have been and always will be - a divine spiritual being - but you have been so busy living the nightmare and thinking that you are the nightmare that you failed to notice.  The truth is, the concept you have come to know as your life; is as "real" as that nightmare is, it’s all in your mind - You created it, therefore you can change it.  You created it with the thoughts/beliefs that you think of and have been thinking of on a day to day basis for as long as you can remember.  Thing is, one of those beliefs instilled in you, is the belief to not question or doubt all the other beliefs that have created the life you live today.  I mean, why would you question such believes that seem so normal, especially since everyone you know seems to believe them too.  Ever wonder if everything you have believed/thought was false?

"Believe nothing, no matter where you read it, or who said it, no matter if I have said it, unless it agrees with your own reason and your own common sense."  -- Buddha

There is a problem though; you see, your own reason and common sense was built on the very same, potentially false, beliefs that have created your life.  So, in that questioning of everything the Buddha speaks of, add to it your own reason and common sense.  You might find yourself asking, well then what will have or who/what will I be - nothing?  Precisely, now all you are left with is the real you, the essence of what you are - a divine spiritual being.  For when you strip yourself of all thoughts, beliefs, concepts, ideas, things, etc, you also strip away the power and control those very same things have over you.  You have freed your mind and now you can begin to see life and yourself for what it is.  The true nature of all things, which you happen to be a part of and have never been separate from.  What you have done, is you have let go of the nightmare, now you can begin to live the dream - except it will be a reality.  Your reality, Your Life!

Namaste!
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Love: Emotion or State of Being?

So I've been reading Eckhart Tolle's A new Earth and so far it has been amazing - just what I needed to be reading at this point of my journey. It completely breaks down the aspects of the EGO so that you can have a greater understanding of it. It has help me to understand the WHY? of Don Miguel Ruiz's Agreement of not taking things personal and the WHERE? the compassion Buddha spoke so much stems from. I had mentioned before that the EGO is the unobserved/untrained mind and how it is a bundle of misconceptions.

Eckhart Tolle continues to explain that it is not only your unobserved/untrained mind; which are the thoughts in your head pretending to be you, but it is also your unobserved emotions, which are the body's reaction to those thoughts. So, a person that has negative emotions its simply reacting to his/her dysfunctional thoughts on a daily basis. Negative emotions, are toxic to your body and prevents it from functioning with harmony and balance. Simply put, negative emotions = unhappiness. On the other hand, positive emotions strengthen and invigorate the body, which is why we must think happy thoughts so that the body can have positive reactions to them. BUT, yes there is a but, are those emotions ego-generated or do they come from deep with in your Being?

Ego emotions are created in your mind, they are unstable and can change at any moment. More importantly, they contain within themselves their opposite.  For example, love quickly turns into hate the moment its no longer satisfying "you". Expectations turn into disappointment, praise/recognition turns into rejection, etc, etc. Understand this: Emotions only exist within the realm of opposites - you cant have one without the other - it's their nature. Where you want to get to, are those deeper emotions that come from within you; which are not emotions at all but states of Being and have no opposite.

Love as an emotion, is more like possession, addiction, want, control, fear. Love as a state of being, is patient, is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud...SOUND FAMILIAR???...its accepting, respectful and is not dependent on anyone else to love you first. States of being emanate from deep within you as the love, joy, peace that is you - your true nature.

Human[BEING]

In life, we get stuck in the roles given to us by our parents, society or the roles we give ourselves. We try so hard to be the best mom, dad, wife, husband, son, daughter, etc, and the list goes on and on; so much so that life is no longer about the relationships you could be building with any given person but whether or not you are measuring up to the role you think you are playing at that moment so much so that authenticity goes out the window. When you live this way, all that matters at any given moment with any given interaction is who you think you are, who you think they are and who you think they think you are. You end up doing whatever is required to achieve that role, that you miss the essential lesson[s] in the art of living. We are here to learn, grow and evolve as human beings, but the key to that is to find the balance between human and being. You see, all those roles belong to the Human part of you and they are important, but its not enough to fulfill you and live a meaningful life - no matter how hard you try. To be fulfilled, one can't forget about the Being part - the light within you, your divine spiritual nature which just is and doesn't play any roles. Human & Being are not separate, they are interwoven. If all you think you are is what you see in the mirror, Human, then you will always be looking to fulfill any role you think you need to be to get a sense of self - to exist. Those roles are so dangerous because as you identify with them, they may lead you to believe you are bigger, better, stronger, know more or can do more that you your fellow humans which are actually your equal in every level except in your mind - we are all one. You will feel superior; thus, you make others feel inferior. You see, only from the state of Being - your divine spiritual nature - can you treat others with love in your relationships. To love is to recognize yourself in another; and that's the love that unites us all. -- Inspired by Eckhart Tolle's A New Earth.

Pairs of Opposite

Carl Gustav Jung (26 July 1875 - 6 June 1961) was a Swiss psychiatrist, an influential thinker and the founder of analytical psychology (also known as Jungian psychology). Jung's approach to psychology has been influential in the field of depth psychology and in countercultural movements across the globe. Jung is considered as the first modern psychologist to state that the human psyche is "by nature religious" and to explore it in depth. C.G. Jung says that in the world we live in, there are certain qualities that are absolute truths. These qualities come in pairs of opposites and you can't have one without the other. Such as - Fullness and Emptiness, Living and Dead, Light and Darkness, Hot and Cold, Time and Space, Love and Fear, Good and Evil, Beauty and Ugliness, to mention a few. These qualities exist outside of ourselves and inside of us. Therefore, when one is not in tune with their true nature - the true self [not the false self which is the EGO] one is constantly striving to define and attach oneself with these qualities in order to feel like we exist. The danger with that is that when one strives towards the attainment of the good and the beautiful - for example - and is not in tune with ones true nature, we then fall pray to the effects of the opposite qualities - evil and ugly, since these are one with the good and the beautiful. When, however, we remain true to our own nature, we distinguish ourselves from the good and the beautiful, therefore, at the same time, from the evil and ugly. According to Jung, he emphasized the importance of balance and harmony in ones life. He cautioned that modern people rely too heavily on natural science and logical positivism and that we would benefit greatly from integrating spirituality and appreciation of unconscious realms. He considered this process of individuation necessary for a person to become whole. In summary, Jung asks us to strive not after any of these external qualities which ultimately will always leave you empty, but after YOUR OWN BEING. Bottom line, there is only one striving, the striving after your own being. Once this is clear to you, you would not need anything else, thus you would come to your right goal by virtue of your own being.

A bit of Meditation

The practice of meditation or sitting in silence, its not something that you are just going to flow on your first try. In fact, its probably not going to make sense to you at all. You are going to be fidgety, anxious, confused and not sure of what you are doing or what its suppose to happen. You are probably not going to like it and for most, you are going to quit, because you are going to lead your self to belief that you are no good at it; its simply too difficult. The truth is; we have 5 senses that need stimuli and you have been facilitating that stimulus with external things all your life. How could you possibly be any good at just sitting there with nothing to do? The first few times you try, you are going to be bored out of your mind with the intense need to fixate on something. Come on, nothing truly worthwhile is ever easy. You can't fear failure so much to the point that you refuse to try new things. The saddest summary of a life contains three descriptions: could have, might have, and should have and as Sherman Finesilver said,

"You’ve failed many times, although you don’t remember. You fell down the first time you tried to walk. You almost drowned the first time you tried to swim. . . . Don’t worry about failure. My suggestion to each of you: Worry about the chances you miss when you don’t even try." "The greatest failure of all is the failure to try." -William Ward

For some, meditation will be a struggle but don't deny yourself that struggle because if you never experience struggle in life, you never experience growth. One thing I've have learned about meditation, is that is a direct reflection of how you deal with life. Mediation makes you honest with yourself; honest with who you really are and whats on your mind - there is no one else there but you. So, give yourself that opportunity to feel who you are.